2002-03-15 | 8:57 p.m.
song in my heart

i was talking to jeff the other night, and our conversation started digging a little deeper than it usually does. i kinda, sorta started to bring something up that i wanted to talk about and waited a little bit for him to inquire further about it. he didn't, so i moved on and changed the subject.

now, i know i coulda been a big girl about it and just said it, but i was scared to, and i wanted to know that he wanted to talk about it.

so we went on talking, and before i knew it (which always seems to be the case) we were about to say goodnight. i was thinking, *sigh* he never asked about it. not a split second later, he was like, "so would you mind expounding on what you meant by [thing i'd wanted to talk about earlier]?"

wow. just how wonderful can he be? he surprises me all the time.

so my mom told me one time that she feels like she failed me. she was speaking in reference to my musical instrumentality. (be patient. this is related.) let me break it down for you (this is a list of my mom's children and the instruments they play):

oneboy- bassoon, saxophone, piano
crazy- piano, cello
wonihead- trumpet, french horn
m'liner- drums, flute
tims- saxophone, guitar, upright bass
me- um... does singing count?

so this weekend most of the family's going out of town for a wedding, and i'm heading over to hang out with my little brother while they're gone, and i think i'm finally going to put my mom's mind to rest and have tim start teaching me to play the guitar.

how is this related to what i was saying before? well, i'm not real creatively prolific, but sometimes i get so filled with emotions that i feel like i need to write a story or a song or paint something to let them out... well, jeffrey fills me all the time. i feel like once i learn to play the guitar, i could write him the most beautiful song ever.