tonight i chatted with both my exes (i'm gonna check who's online before
signing on my old screen name next time). i wrote this short story a while ago.
it's loosely based on my relationship with one of them:
She stood there next to the little white Jetta she’d loaded
up just a year ago when she decided that the only thing keeping her from being
with him was getting there. She looked down at her feet and wiggled her toes
which were peeking out of her sandals and remembered how earlier that day she’d
knocked at his door—twice, exactly like she did every time—and he’d answered
with a, “Wow! You look great!” It had made her heart swell to the point that
it cut off her throat, so she could barely choke out a, “Thank you;” he was not
one to give out compliments like candy, so she knew he must really mean it.
She glanced up at the boy standing next to her as his arms
wrapped around her waist and pulled her close to him. She gazed into his deep,
dark eyes, and memories from the past year came crashing down on her, starting
to weigh on her shoulders, and she let herself fall into him.
“Don’t make this epic, Alexis,” he said as she tightened
her grip on the only boy that’d ever meant anything to her and turned her face
to him, inhaled his scent, and kissed his cheek. He turned his face to her, and
as they kissed, she felt that same electricity shoot though her that she’d felt
the first time. She pulled away and leaned back letting his arms hold her up
and studied his face again wanting never to forget a bit of it. Tears welled up
in her eyes. One escaped through her lashes and made a trail down her cheek.
“Oh, now you’ve done it. You’ve gone and made this epic.”
“Sorry.” She could hardly get the word out without
really starting to cry. She was trying so hard to not let on how much she
was aching inside. She didn’t want his memory of this moment to be of her
breaking down into a sobbing mass of tears, but then he wrapped his arms around
her waist and
kissed her, and everything was okay again. At least for the moment.
But the kiss ended, and before she knew it, they were
saying goodbye. “We’ll see each other again real soon. Don’t worry, kitten.”
She kissed his cheek then slipped into the car and shut the door, glancing once more
in his direction just long enough to see him wave and turn back towards his
apartment. As she turned the key to start her car, she whispered the words
they’d never said to each other since she’d come—the words she’d wanted to say
but was waiting, in vain, for him to say first because she didn’t want to compel
him to say them. “I love you, Steve.”
As she turned out of the parking lot, the tears came. In
torrents. They didn’t stop all the way home, and she was still sobbing as she
cleaned up for bed, slipped into some boxers and a t-shirt, and curled up on her
bed holding tightly to one of her pillows. Through watery eyes, she scanned her
empty room; everything had been packed up or given away. She took a deep breath
and fell into sleep. Her last conscious thought before she did was that she
knew she’d never have another day with him in it.
-----------------------
He stood next to the little white Jetta that’d been the
beginning of a very sloppy end to an already failing long-distance
relationship. He never thought she’d really move to be with him. He looked at
her staring at the ground and remembered how earlier that day she’d knocked at
his door—late, exactly like she was every time—and he’d answered it with a
“Wow! You look great!” She was beautiful; he’d never known any girl to
look so sexy in just a tank top and jeans.
He shivered at the cold she never seemed to notice, grabbed
her, and pulled her to him for warmth. She was looking at him again.
He wished she wouldn’t look at him like that, like an unspoken reiteration of
all the amorous things she’d ever said to him. Suddenly she seemed
overwhelmed and fell into him.
He really didn’t want this to turn into a big scene for
everybody in his apartment building to see, but he feared it might. “Don’t make
this epic, Alexis,” he said and felt her squeeze him more tightly. He felt her
face against his neck then a kiss on his cheek. He knew he’d better wrap this
up quick ‘cause it was only going to get worse, so he turned his face to her and
kissed her. She was a pretty good kisser, and he was just starting to think how
he was gonna have a hard time finding somebody else just as good when she pulled
away, leaned back, and started looking at him again. Like that. Then he saw
tears well up in her eyes and one fall. “Oh, now you’ve done it. You’ve gone
and made this epic.”
“Sorry.” The word came out half whisper and half whimper. He
thought maybe that was a little insensitive; she was taking this all so hard.
He couldn’t think of anything to say, so he pulled her close and kissed her
again.
He ended the kiss and rushed into his goodbyes before she
could drag it out any longer. “We’ll see each other again real soon.
Don’t worry, kitten.” She kissed his cheek then, finally, got in her car.
He knew she’d look for him before she drove away, so he stuck around just long enough to
wave one last time then turned away and climbed the stairs to his apartment. He
sat right down in front of the TV and turned it on. “Yeah! The new Nas video!”
As he got ready for bed a while later, his thoughts went
back to her. It was too bad they just didn’t click; he really liked having
such a cute make out partner around. He fell asleep that night thinking of
the things they could do the next time she came to visit.
i think maybe i got him wrong.
