2002-09-28 | 11:36 p.m.
it's autumntime

it's raining here... and rather nicely, as far as southern california raining goes.  the cars driving by are making wonderful sploshy noises.  i was driving this afternoon in it.  i turned on my windshield wipers which started squeaking back and forth and turned on my headlights, not because it was dark but because in illinois it's a law that if you have on your wipers because of the weather, your lights gotta be on, too, so it's just an old habit.  i turned off my music and just enjoyed the rain.  i could never stay in california forever.  i'd miss thunderstorms way too much.

fall came on very suddenly.  just a few days ago we were having record highs, and today you could safely say it was chilly.  i got to wear a sweater!  for some reason the crisp weather, the grey clouds looming overhead, the smell of rain, and being dressed all warm added up to me feeling a little homesick.  then my mom called and talked to me and told me that all my my other unmarried siblings had spent the day at a big music festival together.  i wish that i could've been there with them and seen tim's green hair with blue dots and heard emmy laugh and talked to joni about all the boys she's dating (that girl's turning into a play-yuh!).  but even though the fallness made me all homesicky, i'm loving it.  it's so much more fun to cuddle with my jeffrey when we're not all hot and sticky.

in other news, i recently got over myself and opened up to jeff about some stuff that'd been bothering me. the last and only other boy i tried to do that with made me feel dumb for feeling the way i did and lied to me about how things were.  that relationship was mostly downhill from there, so, naturally, it wasn't easy for me to do again.  this time, though, it couldn't have been more opposite of what happened then.  jeff didn't say a whole lot in response to what i had to say, but it was enough... and it was more what he did with it that really mattered, and even more importantly, i feel so much better and happier and more comfortable.  i only regret that i didn't do it sooner.

sigh.  i sure am lucky to be the one who gets to sit next to him and hold his hand.