2002-10-02 | 1:33 p.m.
playin' hookie

so i skipped out of work the other day and went to a seminar intended to help me do better at my job... not a total escape, but it only lasted 7 hours, and 1 and a half of those hours were devoted to lunch.

i tried to take the whole thing seriously because, after all, i was being paid to be there. honest, i did, but the ladies running the whole show were this spikey blond-haired, montana-born utahan and a 6’ chemist turned motivational speaker/beach volleyballer who looks like a cross between elspeth from three men and a little lady (fiona shaw) and molly shannon. plus, she acted like molly shannon. this was entertaining, sure, but difficult to take seriously.

they both played oldies on these teeny tiny tape players between classes – like it was part of the whole repertoire. it could all be a repertoire as far as any of us knew… some memorized play of sorts that a seminarologist concocted to make people think their life will be better after they’ve read a book about raising self-esteem… something like how people get convinced they need and will use one of those “set it and forget it” glorified toaster oven things.

they taught us all about how to listen and be assertive and shake hands effectively (so you don’t give away any of your power, y’know). stuff i'd never heard before (catch the sarcasm?)

and if they know so much about building careers, why don’t they have them? i mean, is giving seminars to sell self-help books really that great of a career? i'm gonna wager a guess of no on that one.

the greatest most funny part of all was how seriously the other people were taking it – like it was a serious career move or something.

at first, i tried going to the classes i thought would be applicable and useful to me, but i quickly gave up on that one and just stuck with miss molly ‘cause she was more entertaining… she also did a very good cartman.