2003-01-03 | 2:08 p.m.
my tongue tingles

i'm home sick today, and i figured i'd take the time to write since i haven't in a while.  i took some daytime cold medicine, and now i feel like how you feel the day after staying up all night... kinda wobbly, numb, detached, and superficially alert.  i started an entry which was a scene by scene of my holiday season, but it was totally boring (and i think the whole drugged and sick thing didn't help that kind of an entry at all), so i deleted it.  i'm just gonna talk about a few things from it instead.

• i loved bringing jeff to meet my family.  they and he are very important to me, and it made me so happy to see that they seem to like each other.  it was almost unbearably cute to watch him play with my nephews, and he stayed up with my brothers and sisters after i'd gone to sleep and even took part in my family's traditional christmas eve light gazing caroling expedition when both my brother-in-law and sister-in-law passed on it.  i know it was kinda scary for him, and that he didn't get much quality sleep crashing on the floor.  i think he's amazing for doing that for me.
   
• a few things i got for christmas:
  • cd/mp3 player for my car (now i can stop rotting my brain out with the crud on the radio)
  • tool kit which includes a ratchet set, allen wrenches, and a screwdriver with all kinds of changeable bits like torq bits (which i can also use in my drill!)
  • power sander
  • stuff that makes my hair shiny (the smell of it reminds me of when i went to see cirque du soleil)
  • more RAM for my 'puter
     
• recently i got very upset about something that was completely ridiculous, and it's made me realize that i've become very selfish.  not because the thing in and of itself was selfish, although it kinda was, but because i spend way too much time mulling over the insignificant details of my life.
  
  i mean, i am so blessed.  i have good health (i guess sometimes it's good to get sick so i can remember that).  i have the intelligence and opportunity to have a job that stimulates and provides for me that i enjoy, a wonderful family who loves me no matter what, an incredible boyfriend who takes care of me and always makes me feel absolutely adored, and far too many other things to number.  then all the energy that i get from being so cared for i waste mostly on worrying about things that are wrong with my life that exist almost entirely in my head.
  
  call it a new year's resolution if you must, although the fact that this comes at the beginning of the year is purely coincidental, but i am now setting as a goal for myself to get outside of me and find things to do for other people who maybe aren't so lucky.  i'll let you know how it goes ('cause if i know i have someone to report to on it, it'll help me make sure i actually do it).

thanks for reading,
megan